Why I Hate Lying

I hate lying. It is not due to any parenting choice, I just don’t like to do it. I then take that I don’t like to lie and try to rationalize them, as I think any person would. I am very extreme on the ‘no lying’ side.

My dad and I have debated how much it is okay to lie. He says it is ok to tell someone trying new clothes that they look good, even when they don’t, I would disagree. When they walk out and ask me if they look good, I could just say yes and they wear what they have on at that moment, but they pass up the opportunity to look better. 

I do think how much you know the person matters. If they are someone I barely know, then I might say that the food tastes good so I can further a relationship with them. But even if they are strangers, then I’ll tell them the truth. I will most likely never see them again, the question is usually something simple ‘How does my music sound’, and I do not know what a lie would entail. What if I lied to someone and said they had great music when it actually was awful and they played it at a wedding?

I know I am overthinking and exaggerating, but this is how I justify it. One might say that my honesty could hurt people's feelings for a marginal benefit. In the dress-up example, what if someone had worked on their look for hours and they are excitedly asking me what I think? 

Many people do not take this approach to lying, and I completely understand. If you and your friend are going out to lunch, why not say they have a nice dress on? The goal here is to have a good time and saying your friend has a bad dress on would fundamentally change how she feels for the rest of the lunch.

One story of me lying was of my age during a family trip. I was around 10 at the time and wanted the mac and cheese on the kid's menu. Sadly it was only for kids 9 and under. My parents said I should just order it and not mention my age. After some banter, I got the mac and cheese and quickly went to the bathroom to cry. I think it is the hardest I have cried in my life and it was over pretending to be 9 when I was 10 to order off of the kid's menu. 

Now I would say that it is ok to lie in that situation. If the owner came out, knowing all of our ages, and saw that I had mac and cheese, I do not see any logical reason that he would get mad.

That is another part of my complex idea of when it is ok when to lie and not, if the receiving party knew the truth, would they care or do anything? In the dressing example, it depends if they have time or how long they spend dressing. But, in a cooking example, I will always say what could make my dish better in the hopes that the cook will listen, it does not seem as though my mom has listened to my critiques.

I know I have an extreme view on lying and personally try to avoid it as much as possible (even if it makes some people mad). I do not expect people to adopt my view due to the extreme nature and feelings that may be hurt in the process. I just hope that people understand why I am telling the truth, so you may not get mad.